Mastering Chaos: How a New Planner Helped Me Embrace My ADHD

ammclaughlin3
Jul 23
2 min read

Updated: Oct 2

So the other week, I wanted to try a new planner system. A digital one. Historically, I've been a paper planner person. Though I've tried digital calendars, and task management systems, I've always gone back to paper planners. Over the years, I've bought new planners, and made new systems, and they work, until they don't anymore.

Floral planner with pink blooms labeled "Glamorous Planning" on desk. Includes a laptop, glasses, gold paperclips, and tape dispensers.

It started, as most of these things do, with lots of excitement, and hours spent looking at all the options, researching a new system, buying a new system, setting up the new system.

Only for it to last for a short time. Any guesses on how long this system lasted this time?

I'll give you a hint, it's a number between .5 days and 5 days.

If you guessed between 1-2 days, you're a winner! Step on up, you're the next contestant on the price is right! My new system lasted 1.5 days. (BTW, you're not actually a contestant on the Price is Right, sorry to disappoint)!

In the past, I would have forced myself to stick with it, with lots of resistance, and grumbling (PDA anyone)? I would have guilted myself into going back to me. Felt shame for spending all that time, to only use it for a short while (sure - I'll take my PDA with a side of internalized ablesim, please)!

Two burgers with shiny buns and fries on patterned paper. Served on wooden plates on a table. A glass of beer is visible beside them.

I noticed a shift. Now I'm not going to sit here and tell you the guilt and shame suddenly disappeared, because if I said that, I'd be lying. You might be wondering, "what was different was this time?" And to that, I'll say that while there were still parts of me that felt guilt and shame, I was able to acknowledge the parts that felt guilt and shame, and then a shift happened. I realized I felt called to go back to my paper planner, and I said to myself, "you know what... I think I sucked all the dopamine out of this, and yes, while I did spend time (and money) on a new system. That time and money wasn't wasted, because I enjoyed myself. And maybe, when I get sick of my paper planner again, I'll come back to this. And maybe not, and I'm okay with that."

I felt freedom and ease.

Rocky cliff with trees overlooks a lush green valley and a lake under a bright blue sky with scattered clouds, creating a serene view.

To me, this is the beauty of doing parts work (AKA internal family systems therapy, AKA IFS). This is the beauty of working on internalized ableism.

So if you're working on shifting narratives, on working through internazlied ableism, if you have parts that are trying to motivate you in painful ways. This is a reminder to keep going. To continue putting in the work. Because pretty soon, you might start to notice small shifts within yourself. That would be nice, wouldn't it?

Working on these things, and want support from someone who gets it? I've got openings for individual and group therapy! Head here to fill out a form to inquire about individual therapy, head here to inquire about group therapy!

What are examples that you've come to accept your Autism and/or ADHD?